Dear C.O.M.,

Today you were so obliging to give me my corn and mashed potatoes on the side of my ravioli. You are always so considerate to my specific needs and delicate palate. Thank you for giving me two plates so that my marinara would not contaminate my potatoes.

You always make me laugh with your witty repartee over the specials for the day. I think you're special every day. And the specials would not be special without your special touch.

I like the way your caramel hair gleams under the fluorescent lighting. And your chocolate eyes glitter, reflecting the many silverware about your station. And the hat! That hat always sends shivers down my spine.

I love the way you can always guess what I want to eat. If only I could know what you want.

With oodles/noodles of love,

Your Anonymous Admirer.