Fanciful & Unfounded II

Journal Assignment #2: Bathing Suit

“Freedom is nothing else but a chance to be better.” - Albert Camus

This is a free-write. That means no rules, no expections. All I ask of you is to let your creative genius roam.

- Professor Brink

So I’m not really sure what to write here. I thrive on structure. I adore rules. I really hate this freedom thing. I have always thought that I would be a good communist – following is my skill. Knowing what you’re expected to do just makes everything so much easier. Like dress codes. Dress codes are the best, they automatically rule out half the things in my closet. Leopard bustier, not allowed. Leather miniskirt? Also banned. Shredded shirt - tragically unacceptable. By process of elimination I end up with the classic, if bland, khakis and button-down. I’m fine with that. I would gladly sacrifice personal expression for easy dressing.

However, since you refuse to tell me what my composition should wear, I will suffer. Suffer-suffer… Still suffering. I HATE YOU PROFESSOR BRINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And since I’m suffering, you’re going to suffer too. I think a man like you would like the topic upon which I am about to expound.

Something I am uniquely qualified to discuss is swimwear. I have been intimately involved with this clothing item for the past six years. I had been tangentially connected before, but when I turned 13, I bought my first bathing suit – alone, unsupervised. Here for your edification is my complete bathing suit history:

As a child, I was rather clothing adverse, my mother found it an accomplishment to get me into the bottoms of my bikini, so I rocked that for a while. When I was around 6, I accepted the cultural norm of wearing both pieces of one’s bikini. At age eight I received, joyfully, four hand-me-down one-pieces. Which I delighted in, even if the derrières of the suits were rather generous.

Fast-forward six years, and it was the advent of online shopping. I found the cheapest one, which featured a disgusting color combination. I then proceeded to congratulate myself on purchasing a suit for 20 % off the original price. I received said bathing suit, a bikini, in the mail a few days before leaving on vacation. After arriving at my destination, I bemoaned the unfortunate colors and strange cut. I wore it anyway and ignored the stares.

The next year: One week before vacation, I searched madly for the bathing suit I had purchased the prior year. I succeed in finding the bottoms, but the top eluded me. Luckily I found another top from one of my old bikinis. At least I think it was mine… it could have belonged to my step-sister, but I prefer not to think about that. I put on my newly created two piece. I then, for reasons unknown to me, proceeded to look at myself in the mirror, and move my hips like “yeah.” Satisfied, I packed my swimwear, and felt disproportionately proud of my ingenuity.

The next year, my beautiful creation tore after too many washings. NBD, I told myself, and acquired my mother’s one piece from the eighties (zebra, with a zipper up the front). It was vintage. It was cool. Who needs to buy swimwear? Not me, ha ha – not me. Take that capitalism!

More recently I have come to embrace several creative variations on bathing suits. Underwear, if it’s more stretchy and less cotton-y, totally works as swimwear. Another innovation: layering! It’s not just for winter anymore, oh no! You can create lovely one-of-a-kind swim outfits by layering. Here is an example to get you started:

Layering for the Pool

By Alexa Stein

What you’ll need:

1. Bikini top

2. One-piece bathing suit

3. Boyshorts

Directions:

1. Layer clothing objects as desired for a unique fashion statement. Personally I like to start with the bikini top. Printed is always cool. Then put on the one-piece (I generally do a solid color) and finally, wear the boyshorts over the one-piece. Try to pull some of the colors together with accessories like jelly sandals or bangles. Ta-da! Perfection.

Sadly, all of that creativity is in the past. This year I am determined to find a swimsuit that has been entirely created by someone else, which I will not alter in any way. I have been obsessed with my goal.

Many a night I have stayed up late, my face illuminated by the glow of my laptop. I’ve dedicated hours to this pursuit. Brain cells have died like sacrificial beasts in my quest. Websites, touting mix and match separates still flash before my eyes. Now that the mania has subsided and the hysteria has abated, I produce my findings.

Here are my two favorite styles:

1. Sylvie’s personal favorite, the classic maillot. http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=31477017

2. The high-waisted bikini.

http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/catalog/productdetail.jsp?subCategoryId=CLOTHES-SWIMWEAR-TWOPIECE&id=953840&catId=CLOTHES-SWIMWEAR&pushId=CLOTHES-SWIMWEAR&popId=CLOTHES&sortProperties=&navCount=35&navAction=top&fromCategoryPage=true&selectedProductSize=&selectedProductSize1=&color=049&colorName=BLUE%20MOTIF&isProduct=true&isBigImage=&templateType

Sure, I can’t afford them now, but a quality swimsuit is totally worth a kidney. Besides, I hear laparoscopic doesn’t hurt a bit!

I’m sorry about this. I really am. But it had to be written.

Resolution: Stop starting sentences with “but,” it’s just not cool.